01--Grief:  Four Star Titles, Serious & Comic

Most Noteworthy:   Works of Unique Breadth & Depth

Blauner, Bob, ed.  Our mothers' spirits:  on the death of mothers and the grief of men:  an anthology.  New York:  Regan Books, 1997.  315p.  I hope my mother never dies, but do “not” give this to me right after her passing.

Bowlby, John.  Attachment and loss.  New York:  Basic Books, 1969-1980.  3 volumes:  v. 1. Attachment;  v. 2. Separation:  anxiety and anger;  v. 3. Loss:  Sadness and depression.  A classic of depth that has yet to be surpassed.

Colgrove, Melba, Harold H. Bloomfield & Peter A. McWilliams.  How to survive the loss of a love:  58 things to do when there is nothing to be done.  New York:  Leo Press & Simon & Schuster,  1976.  131p.  Toronto;  New York:  Bantam Books, 1983.  Los Angeles:  Prelude Press, 1991.  212p.  Two places.  Meant to help from seasoned helpers in helpee language.  I love the “lack” of pretense in “58” (instead of “55,” “60” or “50”) and in “nothing to be done.”  They understand.

Conrad, Bonnie Hunt.  Who will sing to me now?:  Young woman's mysterious death and her mother's journey through grief.  Baltimore, MD:  Books Unlimited, 1995.  280p.  Two places.  Precious heart, indeed.  The place where mystery, meaninglessness and grief seem to meet in cruelty of the world.

Dietrich, David R., & Peter C. Shabad, eds.  The problem of loss and mourning:  psychoanalytic perspectives.  Madison, CT:  International Universities Press, 1989.  499p.  On the wish list for its scope and vision.

Goldberg, Ivan K., Austin H. Kutscher, Sidney Malitz & Lilliam G. Kutscher, eds.  Pain, anxiety, and grief:  pharmacotherapeutic care of the dying patient and the bereaved.  New York:  Columbia University Press, 1986.  228p.

Goldman, Linda.  Breaking the silence:  a guide to help children with complicated grief--suicide, homicide, AIDS, violence, and abuse.  Washington, DC:  Accelerated Development, 1996.  231p.

Harvey, John H.  Embracing their memory:  loss and the social psychology of storytelling.  Boston:  Allyn & Bacon, 1996.  232p.  “Storytelling”:  seem it should have had a place in grief publication long ago.

Iserson, Kenneth V.  Grave words:  notifying survivors about sudden, unexpected deaths.  Tucson, AZ:  Galen Press, 1999.  342p.  Two places.  “Grave words”:  what a play on words, but how direct for those who have to bear the news to the bereaved.

Keller, Helen (1880-1968).  We bereaved.  New York:  L. Fulenwider, Inc., 1929.  39p.  Two places, because of the who wrote it.  Want very much.  Would like this for a gift and will snatch it up for ten times the original price for even a worn copy—just because of the author.

Prend, Ashley Davis.  Transcending loss:  understanding the lifelong impact of grief and how to make it meaningful.  New York:  Berkley Books, 1997.  280p.  On my wish list for the title alone:  seems to state the essence of the journey of grief where there is no such thing as actual healing only adaptation and, indeed, a transcendence.  The essence of which says:  loss has a permanent affect and here it is.

Raphael, Beverley.  The anatomy of bereavement.  New York:  Basic Books, 1983.  440p.  Northvale, NJ:  Jason Aronson, 1994.  440p.  Another tomb of descriptive breadth.

Rapoport, Nessa, & Rochelle Rubinstein Kaplan.  A woman's book of grieving.  New York:  W. Morrow, 1994.  107p.  For women with depth of soul.

Read, Peter.  Returning to nothing:  the meaning of lost places.  Cambridge, UK;  New York, NY:  Cambridge University  Press, 1996.  240p.  Not for those who have trouble with understanding the meaning of “meaning.”

Shuchter, Stephen R.  Dimensions of grief:  adjusting to the death of a spouse.  San Francisco:  Jossey-Bass, 1986.  360p.  Seemed to be the most substantial.

Smith, Kymberly, ed.  Healing the pain of pet loss:  letters in memoriam.  Philadelphia, PA:  Charles Press, 1996.  190p.  Why here, you ask.  Because we could not find a book “letters in memoriam” for deceased “people.”  This is included more to our own shame.  Not to shame the real pain of pet owners, but we should never displace persons for pets in any category—so it seems.

Viorst, Judith.  Necessary losses:  the loves, illusions, dependencies and  impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.  New York:  Simon and Schuster, 1986.  447p.  Large print ed.:  South Yarmouth, MA:  J. Curley, 1986.  651p.  Two places.  Descriptive, deep, electric.  How could one person accomplish this?  A masterpiece.

Wolpe, David J.  Making loss matter:  creating meaning in difficult times.  New York:  Riverhead Books, 1999.  226p.  Let’s go to work.

Works of Tender, Meaningful Titles in General

Barber, Cyril J., & Sharalee Aspenleiter.  Through the valley of tears:  encouragement and guidance for the bereaved.  Old Tappan, NJ:  F.H. Revell Co., 1987.  224p.  Christian.  Seems to state:  read me when your crying.

Blauner, Bob, ed.  Our mothers' spirits:  on the death of mothers and the grief of men:  an anthology.  New York:  Regan Books, 1997.  315p.

Bregman, Lucy, & Sara Thiermann.  First person mortal:  personal narratives of dying, death, and grief.  New York:  Paragon House, 1995.  202p.

Clark, Martha Bittle.  Are you weeping with me, God?  Nashville, TN:  Broadman Press, 1987.  112p.  “Are you, God?” is the all too common question of the bereaved who have great love for the deceased.

Colgrove, Melba, Harold H. Bloomfield & Peter A. McWilliams.  How to survive the loss of a love:  58 things to do when there is nothing to be done.  New York:  Leo Press & Simon & Schuster,  1976.  131p.  Toronto;  New York:  Bantam Books, 1983.  Los Angeles:  Prelude Press, 1991.  212p.  Two places.  Meant to help from seasoned helpers in helpee language.  I love the “lack” of pretense in “58” and in “nothing to be done.”  They understand.

Conn, Charles W.  When your upright world turns upside down:  coping with the tragedies of life.  Cleveland, TN:  Pathway Press, 1990.  279p.

Conrad, Bonnie Hunt.  Who will sing to me now?:  Young woman's mysterious death and her mother's journey through grief.  Baltimore, MD:  Books Unlimited, 1995.  280p.  Two places.  Precious heart, indeed.  The place where mystery, meaninglessness and grief seem to meet in cruelty of the world.

Coryell, Deborah Morris.  Good grief:  healing through the shadow of loss.  Santa Fe, NM:  Shiva Foundation, 1997.  137p.

Davidman, Lynn.  Motherloss.  Berkeley, CA:  University of California Press, 2000.

Dayton, Tian.  Heartwounds:  the impact of unresolved trauma and grief on relationships.  Deerfield Beach, FA:  Health Communications, 1997.  259p.

Dykstra, Robert.  She never said good-bye:  one man's journey through loss.  Foreword by Norman Vincent Peale.  Wheaton, IL:  H. Shaw Publishers, 1989.  119p.

Edelman, Hope, ed.  Letters from motherless daughters:  words of courage, grief, and healing.  Reading, MA:  Addison-Wesley Pub. Co., 1995.  162p.

Ellis, Clifford R.  Last will and testament of a lover:  a journey through grief.  Norval, Ont.:  Moulin Pub., 1997.  149p.  Oh, yes, I feel as if I am my own executor, forever parting with a life-long treasure though I myself survive.  What injustice we face in life?

Elmer, Lon.  Why her, why now:  a man's journey through love, and death, and grief.  Seattle, WA:  Signal Elm Press & Moving  Books, 1987.  213p.  New York:  Bantam Books, 1990.  209p.

Engram, Sara.  Mortal matters:  when a loved one dies.  Kansas City:  Andrews and McMeel, 1990.  116p.  “Mortal matters”:  indeed, original & distinct.

Feinberg, Linda Sones.  I'm grieving as fast as I can:  how young widows and widowers can cope and heal.  Far Hills, NJ:  New Horizon Press, 1994.  180p.

Habermas, Gary R.  Forever loved:  a personal account of grief and resurrection.  Joplin, MO:  College Press Pub. Co., 1997.  142p.

Ikerman, Ruth C.  A little book of comfort.  Nashville:  Abingdon, 1976.  79p.  A masterpiece of tenderness.  Printing should never cease for this little work.

Iserson, Kenneth V.  Grave words:  notifying survivors about sudden, unexpected deaths.  Tucson, AZ:  Galen Press, 1999.  342p.  Two places.  “Grave words”:  what a play on words, but how direct for those who have to bear the news to the bereaved.

Jackson, Edgar Newman.  The many faces of grief.  Nashville:  Abingdon, 1977.  174p.

Jackson, Jewell Nickie.  The agony of grief.  San Antonio:  Watercress Press, 1986.  83p.

Johnson, Margaret.  Beyond heartache:  comfort & hope for hurting people.  Grand Rapids:  Zondervan Pub. House, 1979.  199p.

Keller, Helen (1880-1968).  We bereaved.  New York:  L. Fulenwider, Inc., 1929.  39p.  Two places, because of the who wrote it.  Want very much.  Would like this for a gift and will snatch it up for ten times the original price for even a worn copy—just because of the author.

Lindbergh, Anne Morrow.  Hour of lead:  sharing sorrow.  Illustrated by Etienne Delessert.  Minneapolis, MN:  Redpath Press, 1986.  31p.  “Hour of lead” seems to say it all, doesn’t it?

Linn, Erin.  I know just how you feel:  avoiding the cliches of grief.  Illustrated by Art Peterson.  Cary, IL:  Publishers Mark, 1986.  125p.  Yes, finally, a exposé.

McClafferty, Carla Killough.  Forgiving God:  a woman's struggle to understand when God answers no.  Grand Rapids, MI:  Discovery House Publishers;  Nashville, TN:  Thomas  Nelson Publishers, 1995.  127p.

Moore, James Wendell.  When grief breaks your heart.  Nashville:  Abingdon Press, 1994.  63p.  Christian.

Parachin, Victor M.  Grief relief.  St. Louis, MO:  CBP Press, 1991.  124p.  Almost questionable in its simplicity.  Almost sounds like a cliché with insinuation of “Quick” grief relief.

Peerman, Frank.  See you in the morning.  Nashville:  Broadman Press, 1976.  94p.  On grief in Baptist biography.

Rinella, Maureen.  Be with me:  a book of prayers to comfort dying persons and their loved ones.  St. Meinrad, IN:  Abbey Press, 1997.  72p.  Christian.

Ryan, Karlene Kay.  To find hope:  simple wisdom for those who grieve.  New York:  Paulist Press, 1997.  59p.

Samuels, Arthur.  Creative grieving:  from loss to enlightenment.  New Orleans:  Stress Free Publications, 1996.  144p.

Sanders, Catherine M.  How to survive the loss of a child:  filling the emptiness and rebuilding your life.  Rocklin, CA:  Prima Pub., 1992.  246p.

Sawyers, Norma Eileen.  A personal grief & a reasonable faith:  a mother's journey from tragedy to triumph in understanding the Christian faith.  Flemington, MO:  Dogwood Pub., 1991.  138p.

Simon, Leslie, & Jan Johnson Drantell.  A music I no longer heard:  the early death of a parent.  New York, NY:  Simon & Schuster, 1998.  351p.

Simos, Bertha G.  A time to grieve:  loss as a universal human experience.  New York:  Family Service Association of America, 1979.  261p.

Simsic, Wayne.  Cries of the heart:  praying our losses.  Winona, MN:  Saint Mary's Press, Christian Brothers  Publications, 1994.  87p.

Smith, James Alfred.  Blessed are they that mourn--for they shall be comforted:  understanding how to minister to those who experience grief.  Elgin, IL:  Progressive Baptist Pub. House, 1988.  64p.  Christian.

Smith, Robert Forest.  Sit down, God--I'm angry.  Valley Forge, PA:  Judson Press, 1997.  155p.  Been here:  love the directness.

Smith-Greer, Becky.  Keepsakes for the heart.  Pomona, CA:  Focus on the Family;  Dallas, TX:  Distributed by Word Books, 1990.  194p.  What a gift?

Sumner, Alexander K.  When love is a razorblade:  (how to stay alive).  Los Angeles, CA:  April Pub., 1981.  97p.

Temes, Roberta.  Living with an empty chair:  a guide through grief.  New York, NY  Irvington Publishers, 1977.  80p.  1984, 110p.  New York:  New Horizon Press Publishers, 1992.  122p.

Tittensor, John.  Year one:  a record.  Fitzroy, Vic., Australia:  McPhee Gribble;  New York,  NY, U.S.A.:  Penguin Books, 1984 & 1986.  107p.

Treadway, David C.  Dead reckoning:  a therapist confronts his own grief.  New York:  BasicBooks, 1996.  260p.

Viorst, Judith.  Necessary losses:  the loves, illusions, dependencies and  impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.  New York:  Simon and Schuster, 1986.  447p.  Large print ed.:  South Yarmouth, MA:  J. Curley, 1986.  651p.  Two places.  Descriptive, deep, electric.  How could one person accomplish this?  A masterpiece.

Wipf, Jane L.  Blankets:  a grief journey.  Minneapolis, MN:  Heartline II, 1993.  34p.  Here we are, let’s just snuggle.  Who would “not” pick this up.

Woods, Kay Witmer.  Visions of the bereaved:  hallucination or reality?  Pittsburgh, PA:  Sterling House Publisher, 1998.  133p.

Yates, Elizabeth.  Up the golden stair:  an approach to a deeper understanding of life through personal sorrow.  Nashville:  Upper Room Books, 1990.  63p.  “Up the golden stair” seems to characterize the “precious” nature of growth.

Zelenka, Linda.  An untimely loss:  a passage to the gentle side of grief.  New York:  Paulist Press, 1996.  41p.

Works of Tender Titles:  the Children

--- Indeed, all of the works about parents grieving child death could be placed here.  And we determine not to make a negative comment at all on any book or title about child grief out of respect for the children, for such has to be among the “worst loss” of all.  The following just seemed to be among the most striking or carried a unique description of pain.

Conrad, Bonnie Hunt.  When a child has been murdered:  ways you can help the grieving parents.  Amityville, NY:  Baywood Pub., 1998.  152p.

Conrad, Bonnie Hunt.  When a child has died:  ways you can help a bereaved parent.  Santa Barbara:  Fithian Press, 1995.  56p.

Crouthamel, Thomas G.  When the unthinkable happens:  a father's journey through grief.  Bradenton, FL:  Keystone Press, 1994.  151p.

Fumia, Molly.  A child at dawn:  the healing of a memory.  Notre Dame, IN:  Ave Maria Press, 1989.  116p.

Lafser, Christine O'Keeffe.  An empty cradle, a full heart:  reflections for mothers and fathers after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death.  Foreword by Phyllis Tickle.  Chicago, IL:  Loyola Press, 1998.  249p.  Christian.

Mander, Rosemary.  The care of the mother grieving a baby relinquished for adoption.  Aldershot, Hants, England;  Brookfield, VT:  Avebury,  1995.  220p.

McCracken, Anne, & Mary Semel, eds.  A broken heart still beats:  after your child dies.  Center City, MN:  Hazelden, 1998.  295p.

Mehren, Elizabeth.  After the darkest hour, the sun will shine again:  a parent's guide to coping with the loss of a child.  Foreword by Harold S. Kushner.  New York:  Simon & Schuster, 1997.  188p.

Page, Carole Gift.  Misty, our momentary child:  a mother's journey through sorrow to healing.  Westchester, IL:  Crossway Books, 1987.  152p.

Rosof, Barbara D.  The worst loss:  how families heal from the death of a child.  New York:  H. Holt, 1994.  290p.

White, Juanita.  Never too old for a lullaby:  death of an adult child.  Illustrated by Kristi McClendon.  Omaha, NE:  Centering Corporation, 1998. 

Questionable Titles 

Cochran, Larry, & Emily Claspell.  The meaning of grief:  a dramaturgical approach to understanding emotion.  New York:  Greenwood Press, 1987.  183p.  “Dramaturgical”:  is that right?

Haig, Robin Andrew.  The anatomy of grief:  biopsychosocial and therapeutic perspectives.  Springfield, IL:  Thomas, 1990.  175p.  “Biopsychosocial?”:  is that right?

O'Connor, Joey.  Heaven's not a crying place:  teaching your child about funerals, death, and the life beyond.  Grand Rapids, MI:  F.H. Revell, 1997.  208p.  I know God will wipe away our tears, but this title seems to “start” with the denial of grief or a denial of the impact and pain of loss.  Yuck.

Robbins, Martha A.  Midlife women and death of mother:  a study of psychohistorical and spiritual transformation.  New York:  P. Lang, 1990.  335p.  Doctoral thesis, Harvard University.  Trying to be “too” descriptive bespeaks not only a lack of creativity but also a lack of insight, where “study” becomes fruitless for lack of substantial application. 

Ruiz, Shirley.  Journey to high places:  a spiritual evolution.  Walnut Creek, CA:  Shastar Press, 1987.  386p.  I’m sure I don’t understand and might profit from reading this, but the title suggests (just to me) a claim more surreal than real.

Von Hildebrand, Alice.  By grief refined:  letters to a widow.  Steubenville, OH:  Franciscan University Press, 1994.  127p.  Catholic.  Who would be so insensitive as to give a book by this title to any woman?

Woodward, Joan.  The lone twin:  a study in bereavement and loss.  London;  New York:  Free Association Books, 1998.  165p.  “Lone twin” juxtaposed by “study in” just has to be a mistake.

Zisook, Sidney, ed.  Biopsychosocial aspects of bereavement.  Washington, DC:  American Psychiatric Press, 1987.  189p.  “Biopsychosocial?”:  is that right?